The girls and I set off for the beach today with some friends. The beach is my place to get away and just take a deep breath. Everything seems fine when I'm by the ocean.
Today, we spent most of the time watching the kids play in the sand and surf. I suggested we should take the kids for a walk down the beach to the tidepools. This is a regular occurence for us when we camp at this same beach in the Fall.
I guess it's a long walk, but I never noticed before. I just remembered walking, talking, laughing and enjoying the moment. But today it was differient. We were trying to keep the kids from running in the surf because that was making the trip take longer. I noticed I wasn't as interested in the shells they were finding and I was wondering why I was so tense. After all, this was supposed to be fun. I was asking myself why is it so differient? What is the problem?
As we passed the area by where we normally camp it hit me.
When we are camping there is no end to the journey. We are heading toward the tidepools and we will stop and look at the animals and marvel at how they survive. But then we may decide to walk farther down the beach because ... well... why not? There was nothing to be conquered. The joy was in the journey, not the destination. Suddenly, I didn't mind stopping and letting the kids chase the waves or see how many shells, broken or not, they could find.
The real joy had begun.
As we walked back, my youngest daughter and I were engaged in another battle of wills. The reality of the rising tide meant we needed to move back down the beach. She had other ideas and so she had to stay with mom and hold my hand -- as a friend has coined the term, "Mommy Jail". I realize that holding mom's hand should not be punishment. However, when you have a five year old who lives for her free will, "Mommy Jail" has its place. As we walked the pull to go her own way changed to quiet walking in step with me, talking about what we were seeing and how much we were enjoying our walk together. She squeezed my hand three times (code for "I Love You" in our family). That was a great journey.
We are all on a journey of some kind. Some of us have goals for that journey. Goals are helpful because they keep us motivated. But those goals can also cause us stress and frustration when we are not reaching them fast enough. I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and find the joy in your Journey.
After all, God already knows where you are going. He's waiting for you to take His hand, leave the pull of your will and let your step go in time with His. Pretty soon you'll feel three squeezes.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
A New Chapter
Well, who would have guessed that I would have a blog. My father will be amazed.
I have started a journey towards becoming a healthier person. Not just in physical terms, but spiritual as well. My mother died at 40 years of age of cardiac arrest. She had at least two smaller heart attacks before that. I watched her stubbornly refuse help. I watched her continue to smoke, eat horribly and wallow in self pity. As a 14 year old I was angry and frustrated because I was watching the person who was supposed to look out for me slowly destroy herself. You see, my parents divorced when I was four and my mother made sure I had next to no relationship with my father. I was baffled by decisions she would make. Decisions that showed no concern for the long term reality, but only gave temporary and empty satisfaction. I unfortunately learned many of those habits and have had to fight tooth and nail to try and break them.
It is only because of God's hand that I am not repeating the past of my mother's poor choices. My Lord put His hand on me and never took it off. He protected my heart and my mind and led me to people who would help me change how I saw myself.
One of the most influential people God led me back to is my dad. My dad and I have a relationship that absolutely lives out the passage of scripture that talks about how God will give back the years the locust have taken. The relationship we have is unbelievable. He is one my best friends and yet still very much my DAD. I love that. He is able to help me see things or should I say "make" me see things I don't want to and he gives me the support to make them better. My dad has taught me what it means to live up to the responsibility of being a parent and how it can be done well.
The next person God led me to was my husband Jim. I always dreamed, but never thought I would actually find a man who would want me for his wife. And even if he did, he would just hurt me. Thank you again, mother. I not only found a man of honor who loves God, but God gave me a man who loves me unconditionally -- and believe me that is tough sometimes. He provides for our family with dedication, and discipline that I admire. He makes me want to be a better person and strive for those same ideals. He also loves me for who I am and encourages me in the areas where I am weak and need to grow. His patience is unbelievable.
God has taken care of bringing me the people to teach me the lessons, now I need to take care of the parts I alone make the choices for. I will not leave my children without a mother because I made poor choices in taking care of my body. If the Lord decides I need to leave this earth sooner than later than that is up to Him. But I am not going to help the issue by destroying the body He gave me. I will show my children that hard work can pay off and living a healthy life is a choice and it takes patience and commitment. Above all this, I will look to God first before any workout video or routine and put His Word in my heart and mind before my day begins. Everything else will flow from that and it is THE ONLY WAY I can become the person He would want me to be.
So...I hope you enjoyed this stroll down memory lane with me. My prayer is that you can help keep me accountable to my journey and maybe encourage you to start your own.
Live each day as if it were your last.
-Laura
I have started a journey towards becoming a healthier person. Not just in physical terms, but spiritual as well. My mother died at 40 years of age of cardiac arrest. She had at least two smaller heart attacks before that. I watched her stubbornly refuse help. I watched her continue to smoke, eat horribly and wallow in self pity. As a 14 year old I was angry and frustrated because I was watching the person who was supposed to look out for me slowly destroy herself. You see, my parents divorced when I was four and my mother made sure I had next to no relationship with my father. I was baffled by decisions she would make. Decisions that showed no concern for the long term reality, but only gave temporary and empty satisfaction. I unfortunately learned many of those habits and have had to fight tooth and nail to try and break them.
It is only because of God's hand that I am not repeating the past of my mother's poor choices. My Lord put His hand on me and never took it off. He protected my heart and my mind and led me to people who would help me change how I saw myself.
One of the most influential people God led me back to is my dad. My dad and I have a relationship that absolutely lives out the passage of scripture that talks about how God will give back the years the locust have taken. The relationship we have is unbelievable. He is one my best friends and yet still very much my DAD. I love that. He is able to help me see things or should I say "make" me see things I don't want to and he gives me the support to make them better. My dad has taught me what it means to live up to the responsibility of being a parent and how it can be done well.
The next person God led me to was my husband Jim. I always dreamed, but never thought I would actually find a man who would want me for his wife. And even if he did, he would just hurt me. Thank you again, mother. I not only found a man of honor who loves God, but God gave me a man who loves me unconditionally -- and believe me that is tough sometimes. He provides for our family with dedication, and discipline that I admire. He makes me want to be a better person and strive for those same ideals. He also loves me for who I am and encourages me in the areas where I am weak and need to grow. His patience is unbelievable.
God has taken care of bringing me the people to teach me the lessons, now I need to take care of the parts I alone make the choices for. I will not leave my children without a mother because I made poor choices in taking care of my body. If the Lord decides I need to leave this earth sooner than later than that is up to Him. But I am not going to help the issue by destroying the body He gave me. I will show my children that hard work can pay off and living a healthy life is a choice and it takes patience and commitment. Above all this, I will look to God first before any workout video or routine and put His Word in my heart and mind before my day begins. Everything else will flow from that and it is THE ONLY WAY I can become the person He would want me to be.
So...I hope you enjoyed this stroll down memory lane with me. My prayer is that you can help keep me accountable to my journey and maybe encourage you to start your own.
Live each day as if it were your last.
-Laura
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